![]() I told him some things I have been doing. We will be going to the courthouse first and then a larger wedding down the road when he is more settled as to where he will be.And me to of course. I know we will make it.(just look what we have been through already) The dress,the invitations,the guest list,the flowers,the. Not to be married to him, but the experience as a whole. Next month we will be married to each other. We have decided to get married as soon as we can. We talked about the move, Florida and.marriage. I don't know what they are shooting,I just know they will have bullets and they are really loud. Joeys favorite part is going to be the guns. Which is exactly what it sounds like.Įach division goes through firefighting,flooding,team building and much much more for a few days together. Blew out his knee,and being in physical therapy has made him a little stronger. He finally got me under control and then.I lost it again.He is doing ok so far. I was able to speak to him for a while this past Sunday. We have a loooonnnnngggggg road ahead of us and this is how I am being for boot camp. ![]() It has only been a few weeks and I am this bad. Just so when I walk by I get a whiff of it every now and then. I did not want it in the rooms downstairs. I had a fit earlier when the under the bed bag I put Joey's clothes in wouldn't fit under the bed. ![]() But even then,we knew our time was short there and didn't fully unpack everything. It's a hard concept to grasp when those who know us knew we had an apartment together. For the past 3 years we have been living somewhat out of boxes. Not to mention the box I just unpacked of our paperwork neither of us every goes through just because it is so time consuming. I get involved in something and I just can't stay focused. I am on a downward slope and time is just not on my side here recently. What in the world,why is time passing so slowly? Is it just me people? Guessing not by the head shaking that followed. "Ok.I'll do this for an hour,then move onto something else for 2 hours then it will be.2:rrr" It seems to be my theme song here recently. I'm sure everyone has heard that song once in their life. (Oh yeah, and the title reminds me of Charlotte Perkins Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper" where the wallpaper makes the main character crazy.Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo. ![]() (Oh yeah, and the title reminds me of Charlotte Perkins Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper" where the wallpaper makes the main character crazy.) my feet are not used to this hard concrete = he's used to a padded room (like in a mental institution) eyes not accustomed to this light = always dark where he's at last night I put on tails, pretended I was on the town = living in a fantasy world deck of 51 = not playing with a full deck playing solitaire till dawn = alone by himself and not sleeping counting flowers the wall = bored and obsessive Overall it's a masterclass in songwriting. This routine is the only coping mechanism he knows and over time it has become normal to him. I used to think this song was about a person who didn't realize he was crazy, but the older I get the more I think he just doesn't know how to be okay anymore. But then the chorus kicks in with that ominous drum as he tells you exactly what he does by himself, hinting that something is not quite right. The tune reflects his inner turmoil: the verses are all very chipper and upbeat, with the singer telling you how great he is. People keep trying to get him out in the real world and he resists. He has secluded himself in his dark room and his life boils down to insomnia, watching children's programs, smoking, and playing solitaire, but he's obviously not playing with a full deck ("deck of 51"). So I must go back to my room and make my day complete It's good to see you, I must go, I know I look a frightĪnyway my eyes are not accustomed to this lightĪnd my shoes are not accustomed to this hard concrete You can always find me here, I'm havin' quite a time So please don't give a thought to me, I'm really doin' fine Last night I dressed in tails, pretended I was on the townĪs long as I can dream it's hard to slow this swinger down Smokin' cigarettes and watchin' Captain Kangaroo Playin' solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty-one While you 'n' your friends are worried about me I'm havin' lots of fun If I was walkin' in your shoes, I wouldn't worry none I keep hearin' you're concerned about my happinessīut all that thought you're givin' me is conscience I guess
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